The Plant

LIMINAL SPACE. TIMELESS.

Lights up. A large potted PLANT, dead, sits between two men: SAM and GABE.

GABE: The plant.

SAM: I know.

GABE: It’s dead.

SAM: Is it though? Maybe it’s just molting. Don’t they do that?

GABE: You said you’d water it.

SAM: And I did!

GABE: Did you?

SAM: . . . I did.

GABE: Why are you lying?

SAM: You don’t believe me?

GABE: The plant is dead.

SAM: It is, isn’t it. I’m really sorry.

GABE: It’s fine.

SAM: No, it’s not. I’m so sorry.

GABE: You said you wanted to take care of the plant. I was going to ask Paul, but then you said —

SAM: Paul? Come on! Paul, really? I did water it.

GABE: I believe you.

SAM: I just didn’t know how much water. . .

GABE: The soil. We talked about this. We reviewed this. I wrote it down. If the soil was dry, then water it with the cup. I wrote it down.

SAM: The water cup. I used the water cup.

GABE: Can I have my extra key back?

SAM: Why?

GABE: Because I’m home now, so. . .

SAM: But, what if you ever get locked out? Or, if you’re stuck at work and there’s a fire, and you need —

GABE: I have a live-in super on the first floor, so I don’t think —

SAM: Sure, yeah. Of course.

Sam hands the key back to Gabe.

SAM: How was the trip?

GABE: Do you know how much these plants cost? They’re suprisingly expensive.

SAM: Twenty? Fifty?

GABE: Two hundred.

SAM: For a plant?

GABE: For a ficus. Yes.

SAM: Let me buy you lunch.

GABE: I was just saying because . . . it’s fine —

SAM: I want to hear about the trip. Come on, let’s eat.

Sam begins to lead Gabe reluctantly away.

SAM: I saw this place online. It’s like pizza, but they use scissors.

GABE: How many times did you water?

SAM: What?

GABE: The plant. I remember telling you like three, four times total would be fine.

SAM: That’s what I did.

GABE: Which is it? Three or four.

SAM: What is this?

GABE: I’m just asking. I want to know.

SAM: You’re upset.

GABE: I’m curious. For the future.

SAM: That’s the place up there. Hold on, there’s a line. Should we wait? There’s so much pizza in this city. It seems foolish to wait.

GABE: Whatever you want. I’m not that hungry.

SAM: There’s like a ceiling when it comes to pizza. It’s bread, sauce, cheese. The difference between good pizza and great pizza is so thin, almost imperceptible.

GABE: Sure.

SAM: You disagree?

GABE: I don’t care.

SAM: What’s going on with you?

GABE: Nothing.

SAM: Argue with me. That’s what we do. We argue about stuff. That’s our thing. It’s fun.

GABE: Is it? I didn’t know we had a thing.

SAM: Okay. I get it. Let’s go.

GABE: We can wait on the line.

Sam searches something on his phone.

SAM: We’re going. There’s a fancy plant store across the bridge. Come on.

Sam leads Gabe in another direction.

GABE: I don’t want to —

SAM: I don’t care. I’m buying you a new — okay, they’ve got ficus, fiddle leaf fig, rubber tree. . .

Sam hands his phone to Gabe.

GABE: That one looks nice.

SAM: That one’s four hundred dollars.

GABE: This is ridiculous.

SAM: I know it is, but you’re upset and we’re friends, so —

GABE: What?

SAM: What?

GABE: You said you would water the plant and you didn’t. You lied and my plant is dead. A plant that I liked and that I didn’t want to die.

SAM: I know. I’m sorry.

GABE: Are you though?

SAM: I don’t want to argue about this.

GABE: I thought that was our thing?

SAM: This is different. I don’t want you to be upset with me.

GABE: I’m not upset with you.

SAM: You obviously are.

GABE: Maybe I’m just tired.

SAM: From the trip? Tell me about it. How was the trip?

GABE: I’m tired of this. Of us.

SAM: What are you saying?

GABE: I think I’m done.

Gabe begins to walk away in another direction.

SAM: Don’t go. Stop. This is — It’s right there. The plant store is right there. Just wait.

GABE: Where? Where is the plant store?

SAM: It’s a block a way. Two blocks away. It’s right there.

Sam exits. A moment later, he returns carrying a LARGE, HEAVY PLANT.

GABE: I’ll grab us a car.

SAM: The subway is close. It’s fine.

GABE: Why? It looks heavy.

SAM: It is heavy. I’ve got it.

GABE: It’s a nice plant. Thank you.

SAM: Sure.

Gabe studies Sam a moment.

GABE: That’s it. I’m done.

Gabe starts to walk away in a different direction.

SAM: What now?

GABE: You can take the plant back.

SAM: I can’t. It’s no returns. Just store credit. You don’t like the plant?

GABE: I don’t want the plant.

SAM: Yes, you do. Come on. It’s even nicer than the dead one was.

GABE: Why did you buy me that plant?

SAM: Because you said you liked it. Because you were upset.

GABE: That’s why?

SAM: Because it was the right thing to do. This was a really expensive purchase for me.

GABE: You keep the plant.

SAM: I don’t want the plant. The plant is for you. It’s your plant.

GABE: That’s not my plant. My plant is dead.

SAM: Come on. You know I can’t take care of this plant. I think we proved that much.

GABE: Leave it.

SAM: What?

GABE: Just leave the plant. Drop it right here.

SAM: Right here?

GABE: That’s what I want you to do.

SAM: No you don’t. . .

GABE: Listen to me. I want you to leave this plant on the street. Right here. As my friend. Do this for me.

SAM: I can’t.

GABE: Why not? It’s heavy, right? Just drop the plant.

SAM: Please don’t do this. You want this plant.

GABE: I wanted my plant!

SAM: I know that.

GABE: And you said you would water it. And you didn’t, did you?

SAM: . . . I didn’t water it.

GABE: What does it mean to be someone’s friend? Do you know?

SAM: Yes.

GABE: What does being a friend look like to you?

SAM: It looks like this! It looks like this plant!

GABE: Not to me.

SAM: Fine. I’ll leave the plant, if that’s what you want. We can just walk away.

GABE: Do it.

SAM: I’m doing it.

Sam gingerly sets down the plant.

GABE: Friendship is about mutual understanding. Friendship is about caring for another person. Listening and taking an interest. Being able to rely on each other.

SAM: Friendship is also about forgiveness. And sticking together. And having a laugh.

GABE: I’m leaving now.

SAM: Okay, yeah, me too.

Gabe walks away. Sam hesitates.

Sam looks at the plant.

Sam walks away.

The plant sits.

Gabe and Sam return.

Gabe picks up the live plant. Sam picks up the dead plant.

GABE: Don’t talk to me.

SAM: Look how long that pizza line got. People are crazy.

BLACKOUT.